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Another Conspiracy Creator's Journal

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18th November 2008

1:50am: Cliches to follow, skip this
I find myself more and more burnt by modern society. Not so much the people within it but the expectations for "progress" that is so awkwardly implied. I know too well that cutting myself off from modernity is not only unhealthy but moronic, and still I feel compelled to avoid it. I'm attracted by a sense of authenticity. I'm afraid that people rambling on in their blogs might actually be affecting other people. The sad truth is that no one is listening and those few who are reached are no different. I'm eager to feel fully engaged in the lives of others more than anything.

In January I'll be starting a volunteer program where I help homeless youths to be empowered and take the reigns of their own lives, I can only hope everyone else feels so inclined to get their hands working the gears. For some time I have been communicating with my brother via classic paper and pen, I think from the new year on, for as long as I can hold out, that will be my main means of contact with all of those I love so far away from here.

17th October 2008

12:58pm: Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the FIRST MOST AMUSING OR STRANGE definition it gives you.

1. Your name:
2. Your age:
3. One of your friends:
4. What should you be doing?
5. Your favourite colour:
6. Your birthplace:
7. Last person you talked to:
8. Last thing you had to drink:
9. Your nickname:

1. Your name: Jeremy; A named based on the biblical name Jeremiah. Used as a name for children who are blessed with a large brain and/or penis. Also used as a replacement for "perfect".

2. Your age: 26; A lot of booze. 750ml of alcohol. Pronounced "two-six" NOT twenty-six

3. One of your friends: Paul; people who own, such as paul mccartney and paul rudd. usually they are offered the job of being pornstars but they prove themselves being too good for the camera, so they all decide to become porn directors to give the others a chance, which makes them very selfless people as well.

4. What should you be doing? Painting; "Painting" the new code name for masturbation for both men and women.

5. Your favourite colour: Blue; 1. sad 2. a color, as in the sky or oceans.

6. Your birthplace: Grand Rapids; City in Western Michigan with a population of about 200,000. People outside of Western MI generally have no idea where it is, possibly because nothing happens there. Called The Furniture Capital because Steelcase makes a few desks and chairs southwest of town. Dutch people abound in the area, as well as an increasing population of Hispanics. Former President Gerald Ford grew up near the city. The company called a pyramid scheme by some, Amway, alternatively Scamway, is also based nearby.

7. Last person you talked to: Meghan; The most beautiful, gorgeous, amazing, ahh-mazing, aye-mazing, uhh-mazing, way-ay-ay ah-ma-ma-zing, loving, caring, nice, dorky, weird, funny, fun, flawless, wonderful, cute, sexy, perfect girl in the entire universe.

8. Last thing you had to drink: Coffee; a) Drug used by hackers and students b) What Columbians grow and export in an attempt to make the world think that they are not the world's leading cocaine exporter.

9. Your nickname: J; J short for Joint of Marijuana

26th June 2003

9:16pm: The mixed scents of cooking foods fills the hollows of the room. Apple, coffee, a fine salmon fillet all warming and mingling. Lights just right, with tender blanketing of all that needs to be seen. The mood in the space is calm, rational, even romantic.

Alone. Lonely. I've simply no company to keep. The true mood of the room however has been reflective of myself. Very much manic as I have been as of late. I am perhaps a situational bipolar, I am rather erratic when I am alone for extended periods.

Garlic mashed potatoes, perfect as always despite having used yukon gold instead of the tragitional red skins. A plain olive oil, seared salmon fillet, accented by a cucumber, apple and onion salsa for a well rounded dinner, accompanied by cold distilled water and a cup of espresso. If only I had a fine wine to serve myself with this. I really am a fine cook when I try. If only I had a digital camera I could tempt the world with pictures of my delicious meal.

I'm more content to just look at it's simply beauty than eat it, as I'm no longer hungry. I crave caffiene and nicotine, nothing else. But I should eat and I likely will.
7:45pm: Such Self-Belief is Pure Irony
People are surprised when I shout from rooftops my own "greatness".

The problem is, no one sees all the down time. Not many people could truly understand and appreciate the full cycle I live through. For every one day of delusion and grandosity, I am thrust back to my own fruitless reality. I stand, twenty-one years old, with no portfolio worth showing, no gallery showing experience and very little faith in myself. I wonder how it is I'm suppose to follow through on all these dreams and goals I've set for myself when I cannot even do a bit of what I want, and there really isn't much I want to do.

What future have I set up myself for? Why do I not care at all that I have no future?

I have no other options. 9 to 5, a life I HATE? Frankly it would all end too quickly at my own hands if such an option were chased. I am lierally stuck as an artist, now I wonder how I can achieve such lofty heights.

I wish men were encouraged to be house-husbands. I just want to raise the kids and sit at home watching TV all day till school is out and my wife comes home. Anyone hiring?
11:04am: The True Story of an Artist on the Rise; inner thought
I'm very often overconfident and overbearing. My manic approach to the future becomes apparent in just a period of hours, not days. I am a nervous boy, full of fear and moody episodes. When I think of my past I know what my true future will likely be, passed out in the gutter with nothing.

Dreams are my only escape. Vision my favorite drug.

I must force myself to be confident despite my own defeating doubt. I am debilitated by my mind's recurrent thoughts, but something within the seat of me yearns for better knowing. My soul aches for the foreknowledge I am plagued by, I want the things I say will be.

I cannot guarantee anything, I can only continue with my passion blindly. Consume me.
Current Mood: flipping channels

25th June 2003

8:44pm: By the way.

This is aimed at anyone who doubts me, my abilities and my dreams.

I will make it as an artist. I will be more successful as an artist that you will ever be at anything you will ever do. I will be well know, recieved and paid. Fuck you for doubting me when you should be kissing my feet and begging my blessing. I will have no doubters. I am the next Picasso, Michelangelo or Warhol. I am the every-man, the every-artist and I will destroy what you think you know. The history books are already written and my name is in it's pages. Is yours?

Never foget I said this, and as you watch the sand fall through the hour glass you will know that my visions have been right, and your own sad disbelief will be your damnation.
8:38pm: My trip has finally come to it's end, and now is the time for sleeping in a bed I know and looking for work. I need money so I can buy things, pretty self explanitory.

Over the past week and a half I have been a cranky bastsard, likely hard to live with as well, although I am now cigarette free. Fuck, I still want one and it has technically been like three weeks since I quit. Regardless I've spent all my waking hours over the last week coming up with even more painting concepts and snapping through 6 rolls of film. I have more undeveloped film than I could possibly need.

I've got a book titled POPism; the Warhol Sixties by Andy Warhol himself and Pat Hackett, because over the last week I've developed another, likely unhealthy, interest. I'm really hoping to discover what it was he was after and find some balance of his theories and charm into my own. I must assimilate ever artist to ever exist into myself. I already know what I am and will be, but this studying is necessary to fullfill my own prophesies.

Meg's grandparents seemed really nice. Infact, I relly enjoyed having conversations with her grandmother about politics and art because we agreed on all of it, well except she's anti-gun and I'm all about them.

Well, I'm home now.

14th June 2003

8:44pm: HEAR YE! HEAR YE!

After several days of manic wonderings of whether I would ever make it to the land of Cleve's, it has been desided that I WILL NOT MAKE IT TO CLEVELAND.

This is not my decision. Hell, if it were, I would already be there. I am an unfortunate prisoner to the decisions of my girlfriend's mother and timid break in's by my girl. So, there will be no stop in Cleveland. NONE! (tears...)

I'm feeling something but for the sake of friends, family and even my girlfriend who may eventually read this, I am simply going to hold IT FUCKING IN! I won't speak a word.

This lip is bit and my heart will simply have to bear it, lest I make her cry more than she has on her own already. I'm maybe not so well. I'm tired of my vacation already, two days in.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
7:03pm: I just don't know.

Perhaps I'll arrive in Cleveland for two day, but the chance is also that I'll only make it for one day. I'm really hoping for two. I really think I need a good night of drinking, and I mean crazy drinking. I hope to imply in the word crazy; I'm going to try and out-drink the combined livers of what ever bar or home I go to. I haven't been good and drunk in decades it seems. i need to be intoxicated. I quit smoking! It's been an entire week. I wonder how long that will last once I'm drunk again. Fuck, I want a drunk now.

Ok, anyway the 22nd is likely when I'll be able to go to a bar or what ever with everyone who wants. I'm already compiling a list of numbers to call that day to get people to come see me, evcn if I will just be a sloppy mess. Fun.

I'm off to get coffee and enjoy the cool San Jose, California air.

13th June 2003

10:44pm: I'm not getting into cleveland until the 22nd now.

(I almost wonder with how many times our time there has been set back if we'll even come)

I'll hopefully be there for atleast a day.

I'll keep everyone updated.

11th June 2003

11:47am: Hey CLEVELANDERS
Tomorrow I fly with my babydoll to San Jose, Cali. We'll be there for a few days and then driving cross country making short stops along the way. My point is, I will arrive in Cleveland on the night of the 19th, and leave on the night of the 21st.

If you have any desire to hangout or otherwise, comment here.

I was hoping some of you Clevelanders would maybe want to come get drunk with me on the 20th? Maybe at Manja or Capsule, or anywhere people think is a good idea?
11:39am: 1.)When did you first know you were going to be an artist? Was it a revelation, or did you always sort of just know?

I'd like to say I always knew, but that's hard to do when every day I question my choice on the matter. The first time I decided that being an artist was the thing for me was when I was in second grade. We had art class at my little catholic school, and I had prepared a drawing of a triceratops. The teacher always posted our works on the wall and as I looked at it, mine was the only that stood out, and even my teacher said something about it's likeness to real dinosaurs and said while standing next to me "maybe you should consider being an artist". Needless to say that was all the bad idea I needed and I've run with it ever since.

2.)You are given God's paintbrush to use as you see fit for 24 hours. What do you do with it?

I don't even know where I would start. I'm sure there are a lot of little things I would change if I had the power, but in the end there is nothing significant I would want to change. I think people and the world are beautiful as is. But, maybe I would make the world anime for a day, that's always been a dream of mine.

3.)Any regrets about moving to Florida?

Of course. None regarding things between Meg and myself, only missing all of my friends. The way I planned my move was that I would have one full week after school ended before I moved down. I only realized too late that it really wasn't enough time. There are so many people I never had a chance to see before I left. The saving grace in all of this is that I will manage to be in Cleveland at times, as I still have to get the larger portion of my things when I finally get an apartment, and I plan on taking several weeks for that. As well I get to stop through town for a couple days next week on our drive back from California. The advantage is I can always come back when I really need to.

4.)Why do you think there was such a strong dynamic between you and Clark's characters in the Old 13 past game? What was the secret of the success of the Zombie Brothers?

Frankly, Clark played me. See, as his child, he only told me what he felt I needed to know (little pieces at best) and left all the real action and plotting to himself except when he needed my influences. Besides that, at the time Clark and I were constantly together, we really had the realationship that we were playing out in the game, other than the fact that we didn't have rotting flesh. In the end our success came down to our true life loyalty and friendship, as well as healthy doses of perverted, power-hungry imagination.

5.)What do you feel humanity's greatest mistake is/was?

Humanity's greatest mistake lies directly in our innate desire to obtain things, equating specifically to power. Somewhere in nearly all of us is this primal need to have something over the heads of everyone else. Some sek physical strength and some seek money Even religion is a part of it, but all it really is, is power. People want to use each other for their own benefit, people want to tell each other what to do. That is man's flaw, and it will likely be all of our downfall.

-okay, you likely know the drill by now. If you wish to be interviewed ask.
Current Mood: semi-tired

10th June 2003

7:10pm: Perhaps I'm falling back into my old cycle of anger and resentment. However, it may just be I'm becoming lazy and seeking the easiest way out of trouble.

All I want to do lately is run away from here, Run and not stop until I find a place where there is no such thing as capitalism, no such thing as imperialsm and even no oppression. It's the easiest answer, but my judgement reminds me I must be responsible and not chase childish dreams, desires. There is no more innocence in the world anyway, it'd be the hopeless hunt for the "city of gold". The ever reaching, wide hand of corporations and countries alike is strangling the age of tribal life and truly blissful igorance from the face of the earth. Soon no one will be without a government issued brain-chip, sustainance rations (in pill form) and a heavy drug regimine to keep us docile. Truthfully, it's all but sci-fi fears, yet there is some relative possibility to such ideas.

One might think from my ramblings I'd b nothing more than some drug crazed conspiracy theorist, but I only wish that were true. I've been too clean too long, and now I see the truths again. The truths that led me to a several year period of heavy drink and drug abuse. A time when I spent rarely a day, let alone an hour, without the smoke of marijuana filling my brain cavity.

I see things in the future tense, perceiving these things like one recalls the past (only with a vague clarity). It struck me as Tom Wolff wrote in the Electric KoolAid Acid Test, that the best of human reflexes were still only as fast as 1/32nd of a second behind what's happening to them, and that's all that is needed to reconfirm that humans are living in the past even as I speak. Even so, anyone with reasonable intelligence can understand where things will likely go in the coming minutes, months, decades.

America will likely be the bad guy in the history books. We will likely be laughed at like school children for our foolish allowance of such evils being commited all in the name of, our safety, our freedom? Fuck, our freedoms are already disapearing, faster with our greater inaction.
Current Mood: fragmentational/ artistic

9th June 2003

7:57pm: I've spent this rainy afternoon solidifying painting concepts in my sketchbook.

The idea hinges on not only perspective and the recession of space but also the use of everyday symbols and items. Through the depth of atmosphere I'm attempting to basically recreate the visual experiences of LSD and other halucinogens. The coupling of pop and acid directly relate to what I am calling the series in progress.

ACID-POP

I'm also working on a more simplified version of the ideas I'm portraying through the use of simple, repetative line and overlaying. This concept however is stolen from a small series my friend Dan Ashman was completing at the end of this past school year. I've changed enough that I feel comfortable playing with the idea, as what we are both after through the works is very different.

I am searching for items that either are or can be circular when viewed, or at least very close to circular. An example of this would be a ladybug or a VW Beetle from an odd perspective. If anyone has ideas or even better pictures they feel will help in this it would be very much appreciated.
Current Mood: hard working
2:50pm: asked by kingtycoon
1- You say your brothers are artistically gifted like you; does your pursuit of art as a lifestyle reflect any amount of rivalry with them? Do you think you would have pursued art if they, your brothers, didn't?

There has been, for me atleast, a very strong sense of rivalry in art between my brothers and I. Being the youngest, it always seemed I couldn't compete with them, but in art I found I could. The rivalry was never pronounced or a highly competitive one, but more so it challenged me, pushed me on further with my work. Seeing drawings by John that I simply could not image doing myself forced me to try harder. Drafts by James that were so precise and clean, made me realize the need for such things in my own work. Had they not been at least moderately interested in art, I very well may not have done so myself. My only wish is that one of them would have as well pursued art as a career not just a hobby. But, perhaps they're the smart one's about it.

2 - I can understand you a little, but you seem to have come out of a vacuum as far as I can tell. I remember meeting you and the circumstances and I instantly liked you. What do you think is your most instantly likeable characteristic. Was this something you developed over time or is it innate?

Defining your own most likeable characteristic is not easy to do. After much thought, I say my almost childish ability to be upfront and open. It allows me to be very easy to get along with and "wear my heart on my sleeve". I suppose this trait is one which has innately developed over time? It's hard to define where, when and how who you are came to be.

3 - Do you have absolute creative aspirations, things which you hope will one day be within reach of your skills but which aren't presently?

The majority of my artistic ideas are ones I cannot complete to satisfaction at this point in time. I am at the mercy of my own level of sjill. I simply can't paint, draw or other wise to the detail and beauty that I aspire to yet. I know I have a long time to get better where I need to, but it is very disappointing. My ideas will see the light of day eventually. I guess I just have to be patient.

4 - Do you think school has helped you to be a better artist or does it not figure in?

Going to school specifically for art has made my grow as an artist by leaps and bounds. My understanding of artistic ideas as well has developed from the experience. My first year at the Cleveland Institute of Art my abilities were multiplied ten times. By the second they multiplied 20 times. This past year at Kent State however was a waste, as I had no art classes, and my skill has actually faded. Art school has made all the difference for me as an artist.

5 - if you could have painted any painting, which would you choose?

I would have painted Picasso's Guernica
Current Mood: stuck
12:08am: The Republicans have quite the challenge coming from one Ohioan
Dennis J. Kucinich

I've just finished watching Kucinich's speech on C-SPAN at the Iowa "Democratic Presidential Candidate's Family Picnic" (I really wish I could have been there, especially with this tequila that's in me.)

Dennis can work a crowd, despite their more lazy desires. Being so full of energy, the onlookers could not help but rise from their seats and cheer as he spoke, like the "American Dream" itself within their chest, forcing upwards. He's the active candidate; no simple governor's chair letting his ass grow fat. No! House of Representitives, challenging the president even from his (lower power) seat, forcing the republican regime to answer for their false claims and WMD speeches that led this nation to unjustifide war. He is the first of the democratic candidate's to be truly progressive in years, maybe decades, (a strong contrast to Clinton's sly passiveness) this man is up-front and strong. Dennis is the only true, democratic canidate with a chance at pushing the incumbent out. He is personable and persistant, even better he knows the issues. His speech touched on the World Trade Organization, Health/Medi-Care, NAFTA, Anit-Trust, and Agricultural Monopolies. Bsically, the AMERICAN DREAM.

My vote is cast, provided he recieves the democratic candadacy nomination in the primaries. He very well may be the next American President.

I still fear that Bush may have you all so BRAIN WASHED with fear of the arab world that he will stay in his seat of power despite his attempts to pull your eyes from the REAL TRUTH. He is a failure both economically, socially and ecologically. But most will never know.

Consider yourself enlightened
Current Mood: preachy

8th June 2003

5:13pm: This is in response to a question jjjiii posed me...
jjjiii'there's plenty of artwork that's ridiculously overpriced and snotty attitudes. I wonder what your reaction to that sort of thing is. Obviously, on the one hand art is terribly valuable and without it we'd be truly impoverished. On the other hand, $40,000,000 for a Van Gogh? WTF?
Your thoughts?'


I personally feel, that art cannot be owned, not with any permanency at least.

40 million is far too much for a work by a suicidal alcoholic like Van Gogh, right? His work was virtually unwanted while he was alive. In fact, the man is one most decent people would rather see locked up, hence why he spent the last of his life locked in a mental institution. One must understand several things caused Vincent's issues. His family swept him under the rug as it were, sending him to the south of France away from Paris, the center of the art world at the time (they were art dealers; ashamed of his personality and style). Secondly, Vincent had a very heavy habit of absinthe drinking and very likely the late symptoms of syphilis (it killed his best friend Gauguin and they shared prostitutes). The price is high due to people's fascination with the man, besides his very progressive style (or digressive depending on how you see it).

For the most part this is the way modern art has been merchandized. This started long ago, even before Raphael and Michelangelo. The artist him/herself has always been the greatest selling point of any artist, and having good work only helps with sales. Collectors (such as Dali's select ten) are buying the artist not the art as it were. Those collectors as well are a small portion, although integral part, of a self-indulging, self-perpetuating cycle. Classless, poor are not the ones who buy art; it is rich, high-mannered types who buy. Thus in situations where a work is "acclaimed" and a "master-piece" the price is very greatly raised beyond the grasp of the lower class.

After all, how could a commoner ever truly appreciate such fine work, so why give them the chance to own it? Making it beyond "their" reach is the only way to guarantee that it stays in rich hands.

Also art is an investment. The purchase of a Van Gogh work for 40M will likely raise another 5M in just the next ten years.

It makes me sick, but it's unfortunately the reality of things.
Current Mood: art theory

7th June 2003

8:07pm: Consider beautiful people an obsession of mine. I just can'tr get enough!
8:06pm: I'm known for over-reacting on things,
This is just me thinking out-loud as it were.

I worry a lot. It's apparent to most, as I often vent my stresses on my journal. Lately, over the past week we'll say, I've been angering and annoying Meg more than I have I think in the entire 3-4 years I've known her. To say the least it's much more frequent than ever, and though I'd like to blame it on my having quit smoking, that has only been the past two days, not the past week and a half.

I just try to express my reasons for worrying on issues like water safety (I had just read a report on North Miami's water safety concerns) and she got angry with me. She sited later that it just seemed to her there was nothing she could do to settle me, to change my mind on the issue or otherwise. Really it was just miscommunication, because all I wanted to do was express concern and the logic behind it, not make a debate of things. But regardless the conversation ended in her being upset with me and I was lost on what I had done wrong. Perhaps I'm just too flighty of mind to understand?

Today she bought a scarf for her mom. The Scarf is by Hermes, and of course was located in the rich/fashionable mall. Just being there is enough to move me to anger (she's witnessed this before as we walked through the place), and while we were waiting for the man who was selling her the scarf to box it and ring it up, I over-heard him talking. Now, this scarf is $280 and one would expect that with such an expensive purchase, the customer would be worthy of some respect. Rather though, the man and two fellow employees hidden behind the counter and a pillar discussed our "leisure wear" and certainly our financial class in rather derogatory fashion. Despite their attempted secrecy I heard them well enough and I was outraged, but I said nothing until after we left. Upon explaining, Meg felt it was no big deal, just shrugged it off. Am I wrong to feel put-off by workers talking shit about their high-price paying customers without regard for the fact that they pay their fucking bills, let alone the absurdity of charging the kind of money they do for a piece of 2 by 2 foot silk?

As we reached the beach, there was silence, Meg would rather that than explain what she felt, so I accepted that and she called her mom. A while later as I returned from walking down the beach she was rushed to hug me and make sure I wasn't mad at her. Mad at her, NO! She was mad at me! So I asked her how she felt, I always have to coax her to do so, and she explained that in cases where I feel strongly she would rather just not talk at all. Stating, "I cannot change your mind and it hardly seems worth it to try, even when you are wrong". Now I make no attempt to say I'm always right, but many of these issues have no right answer, just opinions on how to handle them, this is the nature of social politics. I may be stubborn and believe my views to be best, but I realize also I am only human. Regardless, Meg seems distant from it, and trying to explain myself always makes things worse. How can I have a successful relationship with a girl who doesn't want to hear it, let alone defend her own point of view?

I'm so confused sometimes. I love this girl to death, but a good portion of the time I wonder if, (though at the that time am convinced) she'd be better of with out me!? Am I really so difficult to deal with. Why, if I am, will she not make an attempt to help me change that rather than just silently sulking about it? Fuck me for ever opening my damn mouth.

Maybe I'd be best to be one of the voiceless, pretty faces.

But I know better, I'm in no way giving up on this, we've both worked and are willing to continue to work all too hard to just throw in the metaphorical towel. I guess I'm just still worried. Still confused, by how I can cause such contempt despite all this constant talk of love and foreverness!? Maybe I'm just hopeless.
Current Mood: ?!?!?

6th June 2003

8:11pm: asked by [Bad username: sharpshineyclaws]
1) Have you ever eaten a flower?
Yes. Between trying food from around the world and being a fairly odd kid, I have eaten several before. My favorite is sucking the sugar from the petals of clover flowers.

2) What was your strangest habit when you were a kid?
Sleep walking I suppose. I once ended up in the back yard in the middle of the night.

3) Whats your favorite comfort food?
Without a doubt a Burger King Double Whopperm with onion rings and Dr. Pepper

4) Whats the best part of Meg's body, and why do you like it?
That's a rough one...
I suppose I'd be best to settle on her face. She has such a classic beauty in the rounds of her chin and cheeks, a smile that could light the darkest cave and eyes that can pierce through me. It's the best way for me to know how she is, and vice verse.

5) Whats the youngest memory of themselves that one of your parent's has shared with you?
The youngest story I can recollect hearing from one of my parents has to be my father's trip across the US to California when he was about 8 or 9. That was infact one of his most recurrent childhood memories, and now that's where he's living, appropraitely enough.
Current Mood: walked-out

5th June 2003

5:59pm: 1) do you think that your art has to be relevent to have meaning?
In the greater span of my artwork, I seek works that are highly charged with relevance and strong meaning. I do however feel a need for art within my own body of work that has no meaning, and often no relevance.

It is easy to find something to say, (especially for me) and indeed the greater challenge for any artist is to simply work with no plan in mind. Automated response and creation are tha basis of some of the most significant works of the late 19th annd early 20th centuries. I often dabble in the irrelevant in my sketchbook, allowing simple thoughts and feelings to portray themselves onto the page. For me, the time at which I create my most powerful and truly meaningless works is while in altered states from drunkeness to tripping, even just highly caffienated, and despite having no true meaning (at least known) they are still relevant to those who view them. This concept can work in reverse.

2) what do you think professor neros' eventual fate should be?
Idealistically, she would never die, upon finding a soul or some other means of immortality.

The reality of the matter however is that Neros is a victim of her own over-zealouness and thoughtless action (I did after all play her). She will likely rush ahead of some expedition she leads deep into a gnomish mine and run off a cliff, or perhaps even more appropriately she will search for Parada Harade again, and be slain by the Glassmaker or one of her children.

3) if you had to name the top ten people in your life as tarot cards, which would they be?
Myself- the Fool, just beginning, spontaneous and faith/folly filled
Meghan- the Queen of Cups, ever beautiful and symathetic to my troubled mind and life. as well as a shared spirituality and intuitiveness
Eric Collins- the Hermit, taught me the need for one to be self-aware, and the importance of the journey (good or bad)
Clark- the Hierophant, encouraged my pursuit for knowledge, especially spirituality
James (my brother)- the Knight of Swords, direct, authoritative, incisive and knowledgeable
John (my brother)- the Knight of Wands, charming, self-confident, daring and adventurous
Mother- Empress, ever the teacher of growing from the earth and supporting of me
Father- Emporer, always layed down the law growing up, the first authority I rebelled from
Pete- Knight of Cups, imaginative, sensitive and introspective (yes the same Pete many of you have met, I just know him better than most)
Steve-O from the Cleve-O-Knight of Pentacles, steady, cautious, thorough, realistic and hardworking

4) what is the best painting ever created?
To say that any one painting is the best ever created is like deciding that one meal is the best ever, despite the fact that it will rot eventually, or be turned to shit in your intestine.

No, there is no greatest painting ever. My personal favorite for the time being however is, well there is no one painting, so here's a few;
-Salvador Dali's Hallucenagenic Toreador
-Jackson Pollack's Authumn Rythmn #3
-Claude Monet's Lillies (any of them, especially the late, large ones)
-Edward Manet's Luncheon on the Grass
-Caravaggio's Death of the Virgin Mary
-Rueben's Raising of the Cross

5) what would your superhero name & power be?
I would have no name, as I would be inconceivable to all of man. My power would be the absolute control of atomic and subatomic particles, withdrawing my being from a physical form and into a highly conceptual plane of life. I would simply be, and do, no thought or desire, pain or other feeling. Essentially I would be GOD, without all the guilt

Here's the deal:
If you want me to interview you, post a comment that simply says, "Interview me." I'll respond with questions for you to take back to your own journal and answer as a post. Of course, they'll be different for each person since this is an interview and not a general survey. At the bottom of your post, after answering the Interviewer's questions, you ask if anyone wants to be interviewed. So it becomes your turn--in the comments, you ask them any questions you have for them to take back to their journals and answer. And so it becomes the circle.
Who will play? May I interview you? -- Originally from anoisblue
2:41am: I'm a huge dork, but I guess I just wanted to post this. It's been on my mind a lot lately. I guess all this water and shitty little waves are getting to me. Well, atleast the water here is warm and there's plenty to see snorkling!

Dreams on Wave Crests

I always wanted to be, since my childhood memories
a Cali surfer boy

nothing to do, nothing to see
so I'd head out for the beach
riding the waves and meeting the babes
that's the life for me

Daddy always said he wanted to be
In CALI!
he settled instead for the mid-west
WHY NOT CALI?

the waves are fine, the girls to die
I'd watch the sun set over the sea
I can't stand the damned flat land
I want to be in Cali!

time will see where this trail will lead
but my hearts still on the beach.


-as per my usual in lyric, the song I hear in my head is very straight forward punk. Loud, fast and looser than your mom.
Current Mood: still awake

4th June 2003

11:00pm: I'm highly interested in, and enjoying watching TLC's Robo-sapiens program.

Jesus, this show is only acting to empower my idea for my comic and all. I'm super excited now.

I want to have a hard-drive in my brain. I want so many nifty toys attacted through cybernetics...
1:48pm: so, Yoshitaka Amano, if you're out there reading this please, please, I say again please make me your apprentice. I want to do what you do. You have the perfect job and you're an awesome artist.

In regards to this, thanks ras_sinister for turning me onto his artwork.

Next Meg wants to get the Yoshitaka/ Niel Gaiman; Sandman graphic novel... too damn cool

Comics, rpg's and lots of sex, this girl is seriously cooler than anyone elses girl (but maybe M's Jenny can compete).
11:50am: I told myself I wasn't going to do this in my new journal....
But I couldn't pass on posting such a cute picture of Sid Vicious

I am punk music!!
Rock on, dude! You are Punk music!


What type of music are you?
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